Well-being

REPEATED RELATIONAL PATTERNS

Negative Scripts

Ever wondered why you find yourself doing the same thing with different people, over and over again? Sometimes wonder why you attract the same men or keep finding the same sorts of friends? Are you playing out the same script in which you’re an actor with a new cast each time? Repeating patterns that hold similar disappointments? The same heartaches?

Human beings repeat patterns, it’s what we do. We find the same sorts of boyfriends; men who initially seem so different to the last one, but, over time, similarities come to the fore that leave us bewildered and confused. Sometimes, the patterns are positive, but we rarely notice them unless we’re unhappy, jarred or disappointed. Long-standing patterns from our childhood leave us creating repetitions that subtly or overtly seem unavoidable. If you’re asking “how did I get here again?”, you’re dealing with a script. It’s like the same play keeps playing out, you keep taking the same lead role, but the other actors change faces, but not parts.

We all have scripts and they are REALLY hard to break. Sometimes, they’re even hard to see or recognise. Sometimes, they’re so subtle we don’t even know we’re doing them until they blow up, melt down or spill over. Therapy can be an effective method of re-working these negative scripts.